One Big Mistake?

You think you can sail off into the sunset. Some can, some can’t. Most are too happy with life on land. They might complain a lot about it, might dream of freedom and sailing, but in the end on land is where they belong.

On the water you’re at the whim of wind and weather. The wind howls all the time around the boat. It’s too cold, too hot, too wet. There is too much swell or the waves are too high. Rarely is it just right. Some of us can take these ‘just right’ moments and live of them. For others, the good moments are only a drop on a hot stone. Only if you can go with the flow and appreciate everything coming your way, will you be happy on a boat. You need to be able to bounce right back, from frustration, an illness, a bad night sleep. Bounce back to perform. There are few days off on a boat. If you are into lazy lounging, better stay on land or be sure to take crew.

I am being honest here, so that you don’t make a big mistake. The boat will be more expensive than you hope, the lifestyle harder than you expect. Quitting is always an option. If you sell the boat, you might get half the money back you put into the boat to customize it to your needs, you are lucky to get fifty percent to the dollar.

So, think again. Sailing and cruising is more accessible today than it was fifty years ago, but the wind hasn’t changed. Weather forecasting is very good now, but there are still those unpredictable local storms. As comfortable as you’ve made the boat for your budget, you are still are living on a boat and not on land, more like camping on water.

Relationships can deepen on a boat or they can bust. Cruising and sailing can act as a pressure cooker, even a solid relationship can run fast out of steam. People react differently in the face of the hardship and solitude on water and what could be a delight of one can be the death of the other. And that is impossible to predict before leaving.

There should be a psychological test available before buying the boat. The assumption that people will act like on land is wrong and it’s way different than living in a marina. Some love it from the first moments and find themselves on a boat. Others need longer. Again others have a hard time with it and resentment starts to build and eventually undermine the whole endeavor.

So, where are we at? After ten months, we are still adapting to this lifestyle and are trying to make it work. And work it is, at least for us. As there are compromises to be made on land, there are many more on a boat. The interdependency is inescapable. This can create a bond similar to bonds born of extreme situations or not. I can understand all couples who give up. I hear, that usually the wife goes along on this cruising thing and follows her husbands dream. Rarely is it the wife’s idea and female captains are still rare, female solo sailors even more rare.

It seems, in the end it’s luck, if you end up liking it and being in the same boat with your partner, literally. I, for sure, didn’t predict this and jumped in with both feet. But I am glad to be able to report, that I can see a mutually beneficial future shaping on the horizon.